From the workshop inbox
If tools wrote resignation letters.
Four familiar faces have something to say.
Management would like a word, too.
A gripping complaint.
Dear Boss,
You own a hammer.
I have seen it.
We share a drawer.
So why am I the one
hitting everything?
Firmly yours,
The Pliers
Read management’s reply
Fair point. Gripping duties only. The hammer has been notified.
Too much snap.
Dear Boss,
You pull me across the room,
then let me fly home.
I applied for a measuring job.
Not a career in stunt work.
At the end of my tether,
The Tape Measure
Read management’s reply
We hear you. A slower trip home from now on.
It’s not me. It’s the fit.
Dear Boss,
That nut is the wrong size.
Angry staring will not change
either of our dimensions.
Please interview another wrench.
With limited patience,
The Wrench
Read management’s reply
Understood. We’ll find the right size before assigning the job.
One last tap. Apparently.
Dear Boss,
“One last tap.”
You said that forty taps ago.
Everyone else is in the toolbox.
I would also like to go home.
Completely knocked out,
The Hammer
Read management’s reply
Clock out. “One last tap” is no longer a unit of time.
